Thursday, 10 May 2018

What Does Mental Fitness Mean to Me?




What does mental fitness mean to me? Well six months before this picture was taken I was talking daily to Christian about ending my life,  was unable to sleep, only forced down food because I was paying a coach for nutrition advice & I didn't want to let her down (a bizzare way of thinking), I felt caught in a fog of hopelessness and everything seemed sad. I was convinced Charlie no longer needed me and that although my death would devastate my children perhaps it was meant to be a part of their life journeys.
NO. Suicide should never have to be a part of anyone's journey.
So during that time my mental fitness was at an all time low and in that place the Joy Project joy triggers barely cease to exist. Same as eating healthily isn't going to help your physical fitness on the day of the heart attack - gratitude isn't going to make you feel better when you are at rock bottom.
BUT I can look back at my life now and see that my lowest times came after just "pushing through" for waaay too long. There were all the mini signs...waking with anxiety, days I'd fly off the handle for no reason or wake feeling de motivated and cry...but I'd brush them off (or for years push those feelings away with my eating disorder behaviours) and keep going until CRASH I hit overwhelm with such force that I can't bear to exist because I feel like such a failure.
Following the Joy Project as a way of life stops me from letting it slide, it feeds the good inside me & quietens my inner critic. It makes me self aware and reminds me to be a friend to me which is in the end the Joy Trigger that saved my life because I had to show myself the glimmer of kindness to be able to pick up the phone & ask for help.
So while I exercise, drink water and eat my veg I will always be practicing mindfulness, gratitude, kindness to others & myself in order to live a good life and hopefully never re visit that darkest of places again.
And that is why I want to share this stuff with as many people as possible because I know first hand how powerful it is.
#thejoyproject #joytriggers #itsoknottobeok #rainbowsfollowstorms #mentalfitness #speaker #writingabook

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