Sunday 30th July
Ok. It's been too long...I've been neglecting this blog. Yes,partly because I felt rough for most of my pregnancy and have now got a 13 week old baby(And all the crazy hormones/exhaustion/mood swings associated with that) who spends a great deal of his time attached to me, partly because I've been posting on Instagram and a new weekly blog for the wishwall foundation (will add in link when on my laptop rather than trying to do on this phone). But if I'm honest - and that was always the point of this- part of me didn't want people to read all of the past blogs on this website because some of them make me cringe now, some of them seem like someone else. Then this week two things happened
#1 a friend mentioned she loved(and missed) reading my blogs, that she rarely read them in the order or at the time they were written but that she often got a boost from them.
#2 As I struggled to describe myself for my Twitter profile realised we're all complex and ever evolving(also read a post from Emna Gannon that was a double reminder..another link I'll add in) Wasn't the very point of this blog and my experiment back in Jan 2015 to try & change? To live a better life and be a better person.
All that matters is that I'm authentic, maybe I don't feel the same now as I did 2 years/6 months ago.
These blogs were never meant to be about being an "expert" in fact the ones that make me cringe are maybe the ones I wrote trying to be because I'd been told by other "experts" that was what you have to do if you want to get a publisher, build a following/platform etc..
The blogs were about therapy for me, getting some of the nonsense in my head out and trying to make sense of it. I'd be lying if I didn't say I get a buzz out of hearing it has been a positive read for others but it can only have a positive effect on me if I'm true to who I am in the moment that I write it. If I'm suddenly this expert in JOY does that mean I can't tell you when it's all gone to pot, when I'm feeling miserable, anxious and freaking out about myjeans not fitting? If it does..no thank you.
So the plan is to again make this a place to just share honestly the highs and lows of my life as I try to fill it with joy, be less stressed and anxious about the stuff that doesn't matter and be a good person.
Whoop whoop I feel really excited to be back but must stop now and try to sleep, it's midnight & baby Charlie is snoring on my lap...
"Sleep when baby sleeps" is the one piece of advice I regret not following as often as I could!
By the way if you are reading this on a phone and happen to want to go waaaay back to the 2015 early stuff I think(*sorry not so good at the tech stuff) you need to click on web version.
*speaking of tech stuff would love to update how this site looks but haven't a notion of where to start any advice greatly appreciated.
Joy Project facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/hannahlillyjoyproject/ and over on Instagram @hannahlillybella