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Thursday 30th June
This week I really had to follow the "we can't control what happens to us only our reaction" into action.
Lesson: "You cannot control events, circumstances or other people but you can choose to control your reaction."
In fact I had only just posted on face book saying just that when my technological differences between myself and my laptop occurred, meaning it froze on an unsuccessful update and I couldn't get jobs I was really fixed on doing done and resulted in me aged 36 having a bit of a temper tantrum. Mildly embarrassed about it I reminded myself that even when you choose an unpleasant reaction we can still choose again to change it and I calmed down. The week continued on this way with everything seeming to break around me including the charger for standby laptop(first world problems when not one but two laptops aren't working) kettle, radio aerial on the car, my iPod, quite possibly a filling on my tooth(dentist appointment made) and a puncture.
Lesson: "You might know what's good for you but the Universe may know better."
I ended up taking a sort of impromptu break that included a bit of lounging around, day time t.v, meditation and the space to think about something I'd been hitting a wall on with regards to my new personal training and nutrition packages. That bit of space ended up meaning I found clarity and a few days later came to the decision that personal training and nutrition are no longer something I'm meant to be doing. The laptop breaking turned out to be a positive a case of even when everything feels like it's going wrong it's right. The universe might have a different plan than we do but it's always for the best.
It took me a few days to fully accept that this time but when I did yesterday and just really focused on being in the moment with my brilliant run clubs not only did I feel amazing, sleep so well but I woke refreshed with absolutely no toothache! Result. And because I was so aware of the lesson in this when I received my first official "rejection" email from a publisher about my book I didn't feel sad for a moment but excited instead.
Lesson: "Gratitude is a powerful source of joy."
Sometimes gratitude fills you up so full with love it almost feels like you could burst.
Lesson: "Comparison is the thief of joy" and "You are AMAZING!"
Then something else that felt so good was hearing back from some past members of my beginners run club who really wanted to join the new group but afraid that they wouldn't be able for it and make a show of themselves.
This links in with something else that I've been thinking about a lot which is the hard time we give ourselves and the damage of comparing ourselves to others.
It's probably the number one thing that stops us taking on new challenges, doing something new - whether that's taking up a fitness regime or going to a Spanish class.
That voice in our head that tells us everyone else will be better, faster, prettier, have a better body/face/hair/make up, cleverer and so on and the anxious fearful feeling that tends to accompany those thoughts.
But the thing is none of it matters, none of what anyone else is doing matters, the ways someone else looks, speaks, does...doesn't matter. You are an important person and you are meant to do what brings you joy and happiness- lots of the time that joy and happiness is on the other side of fear but when you can take a deep breath and step through it feels so GOOD!
What felt good for me was being a part of them turning how they felt around getting to be excited about it.