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#joyhunt http://forms.aweber.com/form/84/1219836284.htm February 4th 2016
Woke up smiling this morning – one year since beginning my experiment to try and change how I felt about myself and my life and it has been amazing.
There have been tears, laughter, fears to face and goals set and reached but most of all I feel like I have really lived. I have gone from feeling so alone, angry and overwhelmed that I wanted my life to be over to feeling like I want to definitely make it past 100 now!
But what I really want to share is that everything that has happened this year isn’t because I am lucky, the exception or special and that everything is possible for everyone. It takes some brave choices I will admit and the very first one is to choose to take responsibility for how you feel because no one else and nothing else can bring you joy – you have to hunt it down yourself. But the truly amazing thing is you don’t have to go far to find it because it is inside of you already. Maybe hidden under hurts and resentment, maybe you are distracted from by obsessing about having a perfect body, house, career, relationship, anxiety about money? Everyone has their own distractions. But that joy is there and it wants you to let it out. YOU are the joy. I was speaking to a friend the other day about how we all start off as love and joy and then events, comments, obstacles come along that start to build up walls around it. But we are meant to break those walls down and if we do it effects everyone positively including our children and means they will build less walls around their joy.
Her one year old was beside us in her high chair, giggling and smiling, clapping her hands and she was the perfect example of what is in us all. That is what this year did for me it brought me back and allowed me to feel the joy that we are meant to. It had been tightly wrapped in emotions that I hadn’t allowed myself to feel. Fear, anger, hurt and frustration that I’d swallowed down because I was afraid to be vulnerable and let down my guard. Clear to me now is that my eating disorder, my anxiety about money these were created by my mind as insurance extra distractions to prevent me from feeling them.
But from day one 4th February 2015 as I introduced gratitude, kindness, love and generosity into my life like peeling an onion the layers shed away, a gradual process that perhaps continues all of our lives. But in this moment all that seems to matter to me is knowing that this feeling is there for everyone and that I have to keep sharing my experience so others can take from it what works for them as they begin on their very own hunt for joy.
Thank you so much for supporting me on this journey, this blog was never about numbers but it is amazing to see that it has had over 44,000 views now.
This week my first book was published 20 Beautiful Women- a collaboration my story along with 19 other inspirational women who have passed through adversity and come out thriving.
Visit http://20beautifulwomen.com/hannah-lilly/ for more details
Paperback copies will be available to pre order soon.