I had such
an urge to write this blog because ever since I read my piece in the Irish
Independent yesterday I had this strange unsettled feeling.
feeling that I have come to know as my emotions alerting me to the fact that something
isn’t quite right. At first I put it down to being a little overwhelmed and
overtired, but I knew that wasn’t it.
Now I wrote
the piece so I’m not here saying that it wasn’t right. It was the truth and as
far as being well written I can take the praise and agree- thank you very much
by the way for all the lovely comments and messages- it also is my story but
that’s it…this morning I realized that although it is my story it’s not my
story now. Everything about run club is true but that woman with the eating
disorder, the 3 months of crippling anxiety, and the woman wishing her life to
be over. She is gone.And I don’t care
about any of it, not at all. Yes it is great to show how amazing my experiment
was that it worked even when I had hit my absolute rock bottom. I’m not ashamed
of any of those things and if it can help someone who is feeling anything like
I was have hope that life can be better I’m so glad. Because it can be better.
think you have to hit rock bottom to want to live a better life.
Lots of my
life was happy enough but every now and then I would think “is this it”
remembering all the dreams and possibilities I had for my life as a child, then
I’d be filled with guilt for even thinking that when I had two healthy
children, a good relationship, a steady job, friends and my health - my life
To live our
absolute best life we have to feel good about ourselves, we have to be able to
look in the mirror and say I love you (and I don’t care if that makes some
people uncomfortable!) because that is one of the most important stories in the
chapter of my life. This year I learnt to love myself and had I worked on that
20, 15, or 10 years ago I never would have had to hit my rock bottom.
“How we feel determines how we feel about our
lives but how we feel about ourselves determines how amazing they can be”
When we feel good about ourselves we then allow ourselves to start a journey towards our very best lives, and everyone benefits from the happiness we radiate.