It’s Monday morning, I am returning to work after a week off, the rain is beating down against my window, day 182 has come and gone my experiment is over.
I am so happy. Not the happy that comes from getting a present, buying something new or winning something, but a happiness that runs so deep within me that even typing this and describing it makes me cry. My soul is smiling.
Last week began strangely but finished in an extraordinary way, throughout this experiment I have often described it as like peeling an onion layer after layer shed away and each time I would let go of something or accept something and then experience a deeper sense of gratitude. This reached a new level when, after a few days that I can only describe now as if the old me was having one last go at getting me back the stressed, tense, self-critical me (my ego- thank you Deepak Chopra for explaining ego vs true self in your amazing meditations https://www.google.ie/#q=deepak+chopra ) was perhaps nervous knowing the end of the experiment was near and all my talk of the beginning of my now amazing life meant I was really letting it go forever. So for about three days I battled with it but like spending a night in the dark I came through to the most beautiful sunrise, filled with gratitude, happiness and love like I never knew existed. It was for me an awakening and a rebirth. My true self was all I could feel and if through my blog, my book, my talks I can inspire people to take the steps towards this I know I am doing what I was born to do.
Last December I wanted my life to end, I wanted to escape from my skin and disappear, each day was filled with pain and anguish so intense that I would scream into my pillow, I wanted to bang my head on the wall to try and escape from my thoughts. Every one of those days were meant for me, they led me here and I had to experience them to be in the position I am now and fuel my desire to share what is possible.
My life wasn’t always like that for the most part I was “happy enough” I think a lot of people are “happy enough”. It’s not enough there is so much more and it is there for everyone.
So whether you are where I was or happy enough. It can be better.
Life is meant to be amazing and that is what I am going to share with the world.