Tuesday 18th August
So after my few up and down days last week I spent the weekend with my Mum at my parents’ house in County Wicklow, I thought a change of scene my do me good. It has been an intense six months of living and breathing this experiment and being the type of person I am hadn’t really taken much time to stop and the experiment had moved into the “book”. The book that I am so excited to be writing because I know it will help people. I am getting so many messages from people all over the world who have been inspired to take action and live their best life from the blog and for me I know this is only the beginning, but I also know the importance of staying in the now. Spending to much time in the future takes from that and it is in the now that real happiness resides.
I had a lovely time with my Mum we talked and we walked but still deep down I could feel that little niggle of anxiety and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
Now I know that when something doesn’t go quite the way we want (like my first two rejections from the Huffington Post) that there is always something better coming and a lesson in it. My lesson with the Huffington Post was that I realized how happy I was, how much I already loved my life and that I no longer needed external achievements to feel worthy. That was quite an amazing lesson and so much better than getting published first time even though at first I had felt sadness and rejected.
My lesson and breakthrough this week came when I was back at home and woke yesterday still with a slight feeling of unease. As I lay in the bed I asked myself “why do you feel like this?” I knew it was more than the disappointment of not being able to afford the Quantum Leap right now, because I knew that all it meant was that the Universe has a different plan, a different route to take and then it hit me.
I was afraid. As much as I want all of my dreams (which to some people seem crazy) to come true and as much as I know they will there was a tiny part of me questioning whether I was really good enough to write this bestselling book. Was I really good enough to declare myself an expert in being happy, I want to share this with the world but what do I have that will make people listen? I realized that the part of me deep inside was nervous of change and afraid of someone telling her me I wasn’t good enough. The negative voice that I used to hear so much I didn’t even think anything of it, the voice that gets louder when we feel stress, anxiety, anger, frustration and envy but it is quietened when we strengthen our positive voice with love, gratitude, happiness and empathy.
I remembered, everything is different now because I love myself which means there is no need for fear. Fear of failure, rejection because these things happen of course they do to us all but now I am kind to myself there is nothing to be afraid of.
Failure is only upsetting if you beat yourself up about it. Rejection is only upsetting if you criticize yourself further. No matter what happens each day I know that I am there to look after myself and be a friend for me.
So I’m ready and I know there are so many people out there who are ready for change.
How you feel determines how you feel about life and it is meant to be amazing. You are meant to feel amazing and you are meant to feel amazing about you.
I transformed the way I feel about myself and my life and I am so excited to help others do the same. So my message today is….
You are unique and beautiful. There is no one else like you and this is your life.
Fill it up with gratitude. Be fearless and do what you love, fill yourself up with love and life will be good but it’s only when you treat yourself with love that it can be amazing.