Day 163 of 182
Thursday 16th July
I feel today as if I need to take a big deep breath and sigh it out slowly and I’ve decided this weekend to take a few days off and let everything sink in.
With less than three weeks until Day 182 there have been a few moments this week that I have felt a little overwhelmed by the phenomenal success that this experiment has been.
And by the incredible power I now know we all possess to create the life we want by harnessing the power of our thoughts and feelings.
I know because I have lived and breathed it for the last 163 days.
Rule #1 Spend 5 minutes each night before I sleep visualizing my future and all that I want until it is so clear, it feels as if it has already happened.
There isn’t one night that I haven’t done this and so much of it has come about already, I never needed to think about the “how” – I’ve reached so many goals and I couldn’t have foreseen the ways in which they would come about.
The changes to me as a person are beyond measure and I couldn’t have imagined that happiness on this level was something that was available all the time. Yes I knew we could have moments of sheer joy- the feeling when my babies were handed to me, a first kiss,the excitement when you realise that you have made a new connection with someone, but to me these were sporadic moments that occurred every now and then.
Now having learnt how to master my feelings and focus on the things that make me feel good (using the 10 happiness triggers/rules inspired by The Secret) my life is like that pretty much all of the time. Now it is the moments of stress and anxiety that are fleeting.
When I began this many people told me that recovery from an Eating Disorder was not possible, that being able to live a life where I managed it was the best I could hope for and I have learned that this is not the case. Each night I visualized myself carefree around food and exercise and the life I am now living is even more amazing than I ever imagined.
That is just the tip of the iceberg. To go to bed each night filled with gratitude for the day I’ve had and excitement about the day to come (the other night on my way to bed I had to turn back down and say to Christian “This is amazing- look how much I love my life. I am so grateful to be in this position.” Because as you will know from reading the blog I had reached a point where my anxiety was so high and my negative feelings about myself were so severe that I wished it could all be over.
I always loved my children but now I feel it on another deeper level because I am fully present when I’m with them- before a part of my brain was always whirring away, distracting me with worries & anxieties- now that space is free.
As a good friend said to me “We need to be careful about who and what we allow occupy the room for rent in our heads”
Mine was filled with doubt, frustration, anxiety and worry now it’s filled up with love.
If I had told people the things I have been visualizing about my career they too would most probably have thought I was quite mad and tried to protect me from rejection and failure… each night I would imagine making contact with The Secret team, as it became clear that this experiment was working I began visualizing of having the confidence to begin new runclubs, to give talks again, of my book, driving my white Audi A6, sharing this message around the world, becoming a blogger for *The Huffington Post, flying to California, walking on the beach in Santa Barbara, signing a book deal and having a bestseller.
It’s all happening some already and the others getting closer as Day 182 draws closer I am filled with even more excitement as it isn’t the end far from it.
It is the end of my experiment for a better life and it has been an outstanding, phenomenal success because I am living that life. Now my journey to live the best life possible continues.
Someone said to me the other day that when I began this they thought “It’s easy for her to do all that positivity -she doesn’t have to deal with what I do” at first I was a little taken aback and almost began listing all of my previous perceived hardships but then I thought some more about it.
After a lifetime of waiting to feel better, of striving for and reaching goals I believed would bring me happiness but never did, of feeling bad about myself, of waking randomly gripped with anxiety and panic on the 4th February 2015 I made one easy decision - easy because I had reached a point that there was nowhere else to go- the decision was to feel good and it changed my life forever.
“The greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives”
William James, Philosopher
(1842-1910) Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne www.thesecret.tv