Day 73 of 182
Friday 17th April
I didn’t blog yesterday, it was a lovely day filled with drinking spiced chai-they are so good- chatting, yoga, runclub and all of a sudden it was 20.30 I hadn’t written and although I wanted to it was my night with Jessica so I switched off the phone and had a quiet evening on the couch.
Today has also flown by another morning that began with coffee and chats, seem to be doing that a lot more often lately and it’s not that I’ve suddenly got more time, more that I’m putting things in order of importance and spending time with people that I love spending time with is that. Then the hairdressers more chatting, had intended to bring the laptop to blog but I was so in the moment I forgot so this post is whatever comes out in 20 minutes!
Not long in from a grocery shop and heading out to a runclub.
In the Supermarket I hadn’t eaten and the kids were tired and a little cross. A sure fire way to test myself. Did my stress levels rise? Yes. Did I feel rushed and tired? Yes.
Before this experiment, reading The Secret last year and becoming aware of how I could control my feelings it would have escalated.
Today I stopped for a moment, took some breaths. Stood in the supermarket and thought how lucky I was to be able to buy food, it’s such a small thing but once you start thinking about what you have to be grateful for its hard to stop.
Speaking of which, I had been writing on mine with a pink pen and it was so faint, I wanted to take a picture of them so I wrote over the words. It was lovely jogging my memory as I paid attention to the different things I had written.
Once in the car instead of snapping at the kids I asked them to tell me something they loved or that had made them happy today. It immediately lightened the mood. Driving home I took in the blue sky, the trees in the breeze. Trees in the breeze have lately become an obsession of mine, and grass, I see things now I never noticed before and I marvel at them.
Laughing today when I told someone even on the rainy days now I’m saying “wow look how beautiful the rain drops are”
Life is busy. But it also may be the only one we have and as John Kabat-Zinn
(someone else to add to my people I want to meet list)
said on Super Soul Sunday “Too busy for what? To live your life? Because it will be gone.”
Very excited that I have finally found out how I can watch Super Soul Sunday.
I’m just so aware of all the moments I missed and now just taking a minute every now and then, one minute to just stop and be still I see so much beauty and love in my life. In the smallest things. It’s quite something. And if you don’t even have 60 seconds to stop then I think maybe you need to ask yourself how important are all these things that are keeping you so “busy”.
"If you focus completely on the things you love, then you are on the way to a beautiful life." The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne
A friend said to me the other day that it was so nice to see me getting such joy from my family now. She was right, I have always loved my family but I was rarely fully present in the moment with them.
If not physically busy, mentally busy thinking of all the jobs I had to do, stressing about bills that hadn’t even arrived, rushing here there and everywhere, a part of my mind always finding a way to make my life more difficult.
I think it was a way to punish myself, not believing I deserved to feel the way I do now. Subconsciously punishing myself, as each day has passed and I have learned how to be kind to myself it’s changed everything. Loving me has been the key.
The past is done, it is over nothing we can do or say can change it. The future is not certain, yes we can think of things we want to do that will bring us pleasure but all that is certain is now. Each day is full of “now’s” that can if we want be wonderful. And that to me is so exciting knowing that if I want I can get so much out of them all.
Last December I wanted my life to fade away.
Now I have fallen in love with it, head over heels in love, butterflies thinking about it.
Ten rules. 73 days and a complete transformation.
It's on the gratitude list.