"Happiness depends upon ourselves" Aristotle (384-322BC)
I had a
different post written yesterday but my internet was really slow and I left
posting it until this morning. Whenever this has happened it’s always been
clear the next day why and the events of yesterday evening meant I’m writing
this one instead.
"Really excited about what the next 6
months will bring of course there will be obstacles and “seemingly negative”
situations this is my real life not a TV show but amazing, positive things are
ahead.” Day 1 of 182
55 days in and
the change to my life has been overwhelmingly positive
I still live
in the same house, drive the same car, have the same bank balance, same job,
from the outside both me and my life both look pretty much the same.
It has all
occurred to the part of me that no one can see, that part deep inside the where we store our thoughts, fears and dreams our "true self".
Yes I want a
house in California, to drive an Audi, to have money to spend on myself, those
I love and those in need; but I wouldn’t trade how I am now for how I was 4
months ago for any of those things.
think that I am walking around in a permanent elated state, head in the clouds,
ignoring anything that isn’t sweet and rosy, life by nature has its ups and
downs, and there is much tragedy and sorrow. We can’t control other people or
circumstances, there are also days when everything is going great but you still
just feel low.
I have had a
couple of days like this, a culmination of, tiredness, pressures of work, bills
all of which had me feeling very up and down. Being constantly attached to my
phone, checking emails, Facebook and twitter.
When I feel frustrated, tense and negative I
can turn it around but I’d rather deal with the issues that are causing it to
happen more often lately.
This began as an experiment to live a better life, it has worked. Now I have made a deal with myself to work every day with the goal to live the best life possible. This means regularly asking myself "Is what I'm doing right now working towards that goal?"
Last night I couldn’t relax, it was meant to be downtime
to spend with Christian but I was tweeting and scrolling through Facebook
at 10pm, when I went to bed I was restless. I did turn off the phone something
that since beginning to read Thrive I have done religiously and it was this
book I turned to last night in the hope it would slow down my agitated mind.
It did more
than that, reading (page 217-221) and the beautifully written account of her mother’sdeath, yes death and it was beautiful I found
myself tears streaming and jolted with the reminder that all
we know we have for sure is this very moment.
How do you want
to spend each one?
I want to
grab them and squeeze every drop of joy out of them.
I want to
see beauty in all around me, to marvel like a child at the most ordinary.
I want to feel awe at
all that surrounds me.
I want to hear what
my children are saying when they talk to me.
I want to enjoy the
love, happiness and beauty available to me every second of each day.
If my life
were an orange, when I draw my last breath which as Arianna says is one
certainty we all have in common, be it tomorrow or 70 years from now I want
to know I haven't wasted a drop of the juice.
last night to spend one week away from social media, no twitter, instagram and
FB & emails only twice a day for my runclubs. I am going to remove the apps
from my phone and re install next week.
I won’t stop
writing but I won’t post until next week. Having fallen head over heels
it will be good to have a week to write without the pressure of
getting it ready to be read.
you will find me, dancing, meditating, hugging, resting, returning to yoga, eating,
finding a cosy coffee shop with free wifi to write in, planning with excitement my talk on May 7th, loving,
deciding on my new daily rules, reading and laughing both on my own and with anyone that
wants to join me.
I will keep
on working on this best life, forever.