Day 41 of 182
Monday 16th March
“No one in our time finds it surprising if a man gives careful daily attention to his body, but people would be outraged if he gave the same attention to his soul”
Thrive by Arianna Huffington
Today has been a funny day so far, if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you will know that it began with the arrival of two speeding fines, that each come with 3 penalty points.
A true test from the Universe, money and debt always being one of the biggest causes of my anxiety and anxious feelings being my biggest trigger as far as negative behaviour around food and/or feelings about myself.
So when the anxious feelings kicked in, bit of a lump in my throat, a slight panic, I felt them for a minute or two then focused on how well I was feeling compared to last week, had a 20 second hug with my son…5 seconds wasn’t enough today.
Thought about how I could feel really rubbish about the fines, and moan about how I was only going 20km above the limit, drag the horrible feeling around with me all day or think about all the lovely things in my life, how good it feels to be almost back to myself turn the anxiety into butterflies of excitement. The physical feeling is very similar if not the same, so I sat and closed my eyes and visualised my upcoming talk in May, how good it will feel. It worked I felt better.
To also be here after taking an unscheduled week off work, not having been in the gym in about 2 weeks, eating whatever I fancy and to not have that cruel voice present inside my mind is a priceless feeling.
I said this morning that today will be amazing.
I don't want to come across as this wonder woman who deals with every upsetting situation effortlessly and as I sat this afternoon to write this I will tell you honestly that I felt exhausted, overwhelmed and a bit teary. You know that feeling when your blood sugar takes a dip? A bit like that, and I didn’t really feel that amazing at all.
It got me thinking.
What do I need to have an amazing day?
Do I need life changing revelations like the disappearance of an eating Disorder? Do I need the Law of Attraction to prove it’s working to me by winning money on a Cheltenham bet(last Tue) after visualising my bank balance raising? Or to prove itself by being invited to a Mental Health event in a school (last Sat) after asking the Universe to help me reach young people? Do I need to have received tons of emails,messages of support, twitter retweets, likes on Facebook to have an amazing day?
On Friday morning I felt really unwell, no matter how much I focused on health I didn’t feel good. It was frightening and a little part of me was worried that I wouldn’t get better from this concussion.
So today to feel almost completely like myself, well, if nothing else happened that’s amazing. This body of mine, busy healing itself every day. Amazing.
41 days in and I’m going back to the basics, over the next few days I am going to look back over the 10 rules, the effects they have had so far and whether I need to change any.
One I am changing for sure is #6 Fresh air. Get outside for at least 15 minutes every day.
I can tell you now that I haven’t stuck to it religiously, most weeks I am outside for much longer at least 4 times a week with runclub but not every day, and after my experience last week I know that it will be of far more benefit to me to change it to this.....
Unplug. Have a minimum of 30 minutes each day with no phone/laptop to be still.
I have attempted meditation before but never to the great success I expected and would be quite critical of myself if I felt I didn’t get the desired effect.
However last week an absolute positive result of having my head jammed and slammed between a doorframe and a door, I lay on my back on my bed, closed my eyes and I found rather than concentrating on thinking of nothing, I would think of the word love and if other thoughts came into my head I would bring it back to the word love.
It was remarkable, rather than napping which is something I would have done before this left me feeling so revitalised.
Meditation can of course be anything going for a walk, working in the shed, knitting ,anything that calms you but by doing it without any props it gives you the power to do it anywhere.
For the next 21 Days I will be following a meditation with Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra
Beginning yoga on Thursday mornings, and am naturally wanting to eat and cook clean, nutritious food (most of the time-enjoying a bit of chocolate most days too).
Yesterday, Mothers Day which I consider another day to celebrate having love to give regardless of whether you are a mother or not, same opinion as I have about Valentines. Let's show each other care and love every day.
I cooked dinner and dessert, even though we were at home I changed from my leggings into an outfit I loved,sprayed my favourite perfume, lit tea lights and ate with Christian, Jessica and Leon at our lovely table. It was simple, didn’t require anything that we didn’t already have, and it felt really good.
After I finish this I am going to take my 30 minutes to unplug, this evening I am well enough to get back outside with the runners who I missed so much last week
So while I love excitement and opportunities, while I want more money and am so looking forward to driving that white Audi A6.
I know that I have all the ingredients for an amazing day right here, right now just as I am.
“A feeling that greater possessions, no matter what kind they may be, will have themselves bring contentment or happiness, is a misunderstanding. No person, place or thing can give you happiness. They may give you cause for happiness and a feeling of contentment, but the Joy of living comes from within.”
Genevieve Behrend- New Thought Author (1881-1960)
Quote in the Secret Daily Teachings