Monday, 9 March 2015

Day 34 of 182. The Universe knocked some sense into me today.


Day 34 of 182

Monday 9th March

Feeling grateful.

Yesterday was my day off though I woke at 6 am and couldn’t get back to sleep, my mind full of things to write. So I got up, wrote for about 2 hours then went back to bed. I had intended staying off my phone all day but again didn’t stick to it and ended up doing bits and pieces. This I think is what led to this mornings unexpected events and in turn to now 16.35 me doing my best through a bit of a foggy head, to type this.

All due to an unexpected encounter between my head and the doorframe of my six year old son’s bedroom as he decided not wanting to get dressed for school first thing, to slam it with some force. Leading to a faint on my part and tears on both our parts.

To be honest I felt worse for him but lesson learned, he won’t be slamming it again in a hurry.

But it was me I think that needed to be taught a lesson. My diary was full today with “to do’s”, my head was in overdrive all weekend. So excited by all that is happening and all that I want to do. I‘ve decided to start planning my next talk and was buzzing. It is all good. It is amazing, exciting and all the things I dream of are coming true but….

Back to the reason for starting this “A better life” and I have to remember that I am not superhuman that success at all costs is not what I want.

Since my reiki session last week I keep thinking about the “holistic approach” treating the whole body. Mind. Body. Spirit.

It's amazing to me that in such a short space how far I have come with regards to my eating disorder and anxiety so now it's time to focus on mindfulness, learning how to unplug and be still.
 

So rule # 6 Fresh Air, 15 minutes outside every day is in addition 15 minutes of mindfulness every day and Sundays are for my family.

Had to cancel runclub this evening, which is hard for me but another lesson, that things will still be ok even if I’m not perfect.

 I’ve known for a few weeks that I needed to look after myself with all that is going on for my sake and my family.

I know I can help other people who are struggling but only if I look after myself.

 

I knew this but was putting off putting it into practice, so the Universe organised “some sense to be knocked into me.”

Literally.


I could be annoyed with how this week started, feel I'm letting people down stress that I'm behind on tasks, worry that I won't feel better quick enough.

 But sitting here in the quiet, bar the hum of the refrigerator the ticking of the clock. Looking at the trees swaying in the wind, birds riding the breeze. The dull thud in the lump behind my ear.

I am feeling so much love and gratitude for my body's amazing ability to heal, for my life and for all the experiences and people in it, past, present and future.