Saturday, 21 February 2015

Day 18. Rule #8 Be Kind

Rule #8 Be Kind.

Day 18 Saturday 21st February


Be Kind. Each day take as many opportunities to show kindness to others as I can. This can be as simple as letting a car out in traffic or opening a door.

Everything comes back to your feelings and an act of kindness will always feel good no such thing as big or small. Kind is kind.

It doesn’t have to be something that costs money, I will go to the supermarket with extra time now so I can let people that are rushing in front of me. I’d get really annoyed if I didn’t have the exact change for the parking meter thinking that I didn’t want to pay for longer than I was staying, now I pay extra each time and look for someone to pass my ticket to. Smiling can make such a difference to a day. It’s strange for some people who know me, realising that they saw or spoke to me when I was going through some low times and that they had no clue. This for me is one of the biggest lessons of all we never know how someone is feeling inside regardless of how “perfect” their life may seem from where we are standing.

Every day of this I’m learning something new, last Wednesday I set off to get some groceries with the intention of doing as many kind things as I could. No one to take my ticket, tried to hold the door for people no luck, not even anyone looking my direction to smile to. When I got home I had to head out pretty much straight away to work and hurriedly kissed Leon goodbye telling him no couldn’t watch a movie with him today…tomorrow.

That afternoon my kindness could have been directed at my son by spending some time with him.

Be kind to you too. Putting yourself first can be seen as a negative thing, Oprah Winfrey compares it to the aeroplane oxygen mask you can’t help anyone else unless you tend to your own. Excuses normally come in here, no time to relax, no money for health spas. It’s not about that it is about knowing you deserve to be happy, not beating yourself up over how you look or what other people think of you, and maybe if you’re tired letting the dishes, kitchen floor, ironing  wait so you can go to bed.

 One kindness I will show myself is that at 09.30 each night and on Sunday afternoons my phone will be switched off. Clearing my mind for the week ahead.


On The Monday before I started this 6 month experience I reversed into a car in the car park. I just didn’t see it, was a little distracted thinking about messages and emails I needed to reply to. Another lesson for me a lover of multi-tasking. One thing at a time. Driving is for certain a task that is best not to be accompanied by others!

 The red Volkswagen that had received the brunt of my distraction had a dent and scratch. Not sure if I had caused this, though a later examination of my navy car with its new splash of red was the proof, I decided to leave my number.

Nobody had seen me so I suppose I could have just driven away.

At this stage the  6 month experience hadn’t officially started but having my rules planned I was starting to think more about the positives. I would always have written a note, driving off would never have felt right. But I would have stressed to the max, where will I get the money, how angry are the owners going to be, what about my insurance? I would have got myself in to an anxious wreck. Instead I felt pleased that I had done the right thing and grateful that I had a car to drive, that I hadn’t reversed into a person, that I had been reminded how powerful being behind a wheel is and to concentrate on the job in hand.

At that moment I didn’t have the money to pay anyone for car damage but I had a runclub due to start the following week so I thought I could use that and leave the credit card minimum payment a little longer if I had to.

I went on to have a really lovely day which also included getting a parking ticket. Made more aware of the fact that I can control my day by controlling how I feel. It’s not the situations that make me feel bad its how I feel about them.

I didn’t hear from the car owners until the next evening at my runclub registration, the husband of the women who owned the car said his wife had only noticed my note that afternoon.

I think he was pretty surprised by how upbeat I was and kept thanking me over and over for leaving a note. We left it that they would find out a price get back to me and I said yes no problem I would pay. He thanked me again.

That evening I had one of the busiest runclub sign ups in the 10 months since I started.

Now when I told people this story the response was pretty much one of either of these “I’d have driven off” or “they’re going to scam you and try and get more money” Christian has always felt that that we pay insurance for this type of thing and agreed with me.

I knew I had done the right thing. I felt good. I had reversed into the car, somebody else’s car. It was my responsibility.

A week later at runclub (the second one I had to put on due to demand) he rang me again and said that the first quote had been €300 but their local mechanic would do it for €150. Again he was in shock when I said that I’d lodge it into his bank.  I did call the insurance who told me that it wouldn’t be worth my while as my no claims wasn’t protected. Grateful for how friendly the girl was I threw in “No problem I’ll get it protected when I’m changing to an Audi A6”….why not? Ask. Believe. Receive. It’s the Law of Attraction.

Getting stressed out when ringing banks, insurance companies anyone with automated systems is pointless so I really try and make an effort to be polite and kind.  When I ring to pay my credit card bill I always come off the phone smiling as I will always thank the person at the end of the line and wish them a great day. I’m not this “perfect” person never angry, upset or annoyed but I know that those emotions benefit no one least of all me.

Back to the car.

Again some people said to me “Oh it probably only cost’s €100 and their taking some for themselves.” I really don’t think so but again I reminded them I reversed into their car it was my responsibility to do the right thing. To be kind.

The minute I lodged the money online I got a message from 3 more people wanting to join runclub. Good comes back to you.

What gave me the most happiness out of the whole thing is that I got to show that couple kindness. It’s so easy in this world to start thinking that everyone is out to trick, scam or deceive you. I’m glad the whole thing happened because it all left me feeling so good.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be”          

Abraham Lincoln